2017 March Madness
Introduction If the month is March, it must be time for some madness. In January we had our trophy tournament. In February we had our Super Bowl Squares. Not it is time for the third and biggest (yet) challenge of the off-season tournament. What did we miss in the month between posts? Not a whole lot. A couple of us had birthdays. Shotti celebrated a birthday. Yep, another celebration for Shotti. BORINGGG. He has almost as many birthdays as he has trophies. The bigger story here though is that Shotti has now gone over two months without a championship, one of the longest droughts in his franchise history. Is Shotti done? And congratulations to Papa’s Posse for also celebrating another year on Earth. His birthday happens to fall on International Women’s Day, a day I admittedly didn’t know existed until this year when girls took to facebook to tell me how important they were. Even then I was sort of like “hmm, just another normal day on Facebook.” But when I found out they were protesting by not coming into work I thought “This is a big deal! Who is going to answer the phones??” Honestly, kind of selfish to have International Women’s Day on my Dad’s birthday. But I actually think this is a brilliant idea. Skip work so that your employer thinks "shit this person didn't even show up today, they deserve a raise!" Only problem would be if you didn't show up and no one noticed. That's a big Jimbo. Show up the next day feeling like you made your point and no one even bats an eye. Either that or they realize how useless you are and you just get fired. Now that's how you win a protest. Seriously though what the fuck it's 2017 how are we not equal yet? I feel like that's literally all anyone talks about (other than Game of Thrones). Get it together, society. And Burns’s daughter celebrated her tenth birthday. Since she has the same DNA as Joe, my limited biology experience tells me that she is sort of a part of this league. Transitive property = I think that makes her the winningest woman in LoC history. Speaking of the ACTUAL winningest woman in LoC history, today is Chantel's birthday. Since I already blew all my good woman jokes three paragraphs ago and the Jets haven't done anything stupid lately, I'll just congratulate Dee on surviving another year. The league wouldn't be the same without you. I mean literally, it wouldn't. There would be another team in your place. It would be different. For a Bday gift, I’m throwing all four of these teams a bone in the form of points. All four of you will get your (or your daughter's) age, divided by 10 (the number of teams in the league), rounded to the nearest whole number. Simple math (I'm an accountant NBD). That’s 6 points for Papa, 3 for Shotti and Dee, and...wow, still 0 for Burns. Get it together Joe, God dammit! Otherwise, not much going on. Romo is no longer a Cowboy. Brandon Marshall is no longer a Jet. Adrian Peterson is no longer a Viking. Patriots are scooping up every important free agent. Blah blah blah I don't care SOMEBODY HIT SOMEBODY! Updated Standings On Oscar Night I posted my “Oscar Predictions” on the league page, which alerted Nate to possible league implications. Sure enough, there was a hidden message in the writeup that awarded 20 points to anyone who texted me the secret phrase “La La Clinton-Dix.” Nate and Chantel were the only two who loved me enough to read my predictions (really just Nate and really only because he saw it was on the league page) and thus they were the only ones who capitalized on the points. # Chris - 225 # Jared - 120 # Nate - 100 # Papa - 91 # Zach - 80 # Chantel - 80 # Shotti - 53 # Pat - 30 # Commish - 5 # Burns - 0 All of this is about to change. 2017 March Madness Last year the winner of the title had their dues waived. This year, this is just a piece of the off-season puzzle. But it is a big one. LINK TO JOIN I also sent out e-mail invitations. THE PASSWORD TO JOIN: falcons283 IMPORTANT: Each owner will get two brackets, just like last year. Filling out only one will leave you at a great disadvantage. Scoring This season you will be rewarded for correctly picking upsets. The bigger the upsets, the more points you get. For example, if you pick a 12 to upset a 5 in the first round, you get 1 x 7 (the difference between 5 and 12), so you get 7 points. If you pick a 9 to upset an 8 you get 1 x 1, 1 point. Seeeee? Those first two will be automatically tallied by Yahoo. The rest will be done by the Commish. Every owner has been randomly assigned a FREE MONEY team. I put the first 11 automatic bid teams into a “random thing picker" and assigned the teams (I just went down the list of owner names alphabetically). Each time your team wins you get an extra 20 points. The 11th team picked was assigned to the Mirror League. Beat it, you get an extra 20 points. If that team beats your team, you lose 40 points. Below, some additional scoring options for you to keep in mind. At the end of the tournament: the final score of both of your brackets plus your additional points will be added together to give you your final score. Then we divide that score by 10. Then we round up to the nearest whole number. Then we add that to your Off-season total. A quick calculation of the max possible points (because I'm bored at work) gives you 1999 per bracket (assuming every game is an upset up until the final four). So you could end up with a max of 4,000 bracket points, or 400 Off-Season points. THAT’S HOW THE LOC DOES MARCH MADNESS!!!! March Madness on 'Roids, baby! I honestly cannot think of a better way to spend my days at work. I love writing this shit and making convoluted scoring systems for off-season fantasy football competitions. Man, life is good. Selection Sunday is March 12 so get ready to rock and roll.